Stephen H Baum Leadership

“Orchids” to Sue Shellenbarger for her WSJ column on September 27 on Work and Family. She admits to excessive hovering though she rationalizes that “…the complexities of campus life today warrant more extra support.” She describes — criticizes — still  other parents who are so intrusive as to demean their own children’s values and ability. 

But there is a deeper impact of helicopter parenting: it denies the offspring what I have called “shaping experiences.” These moments of problem-solving, risk, testing of character and mettle, setback and recovery are what cause personal growth into the adults they will become.  Loose fences within which the child may hurt but not permanently injure themselves are fine. But decades of work with senior executives of major companies and not for profits have proven beyond a reasonable doubt that the tumbling of life is what strengthened their core. And when in their lives will it be safer and more protected to do this than in campus life?

Apply this insight to the work environment. These days the superior boss is a mentor and coach, encouraging the subordinate to try, to risk, to recover from setback, to grow. I call this “parenting at work.” Even a not-so-good boss will generate experiences for others that are part of life. Learning early how to deal with people who do not share your values or views is crucial to personal growth.

Consider why so many third generation heads of family businesses do so poorly. If their work experience is only in the family business, odds are they have had limited learning about the real world of work. 

We have a chief executive in the White House who worked only  in the family businesses until he began to run for office. Think about it.